Faith, Love and Prayer

This is one of the most precious songs to me. I learned it when I was very young and I have taught it to all of my precious little ones as they were nursing as babies. I'm not sure I care if this offends any one, because I believe it with such a strong heart and mind and it teaches what I believe to be a universal truth. This is a picture I've posted before, of my mom and dad and my children. Just before Bubby turned 1.
The song is called "I am a Child of God".


I am a child of God,
And he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a child of God,
And so my needs are great;
Help me to understand his words
Before it grows to late.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a child of God.
Rich blessings are in store;
If I but learn to do his will
I'll live with hime once more.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a child of God.
His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine
If I can but endure.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

Go here and click on the last item listed to hear childrens voices singing. http://iamachildofgod.org/?vm=r
http://youtu.be/BjnheAUlBy0

I understand that some are not taken care of as well as our Heavenly Father would like. Some are abused and some are not loved. I feel for those of my brothers and sisters who don't get to have that kind of love in their lives. I have been a very angry person over the last few years. One reason is because I just haven't been giving time to music lately. Even just listening to music makes a difference in my life.
Another reason is because I have just grown calloused. I have quit caring and become uninterested in my surroundings. I have many faults and I have taken my insecurities out on my children with my loud voice. My very loud voice. I work in a grocery store, where I have to deal with some who make really dumb decisions. (I think the choices are dumb, but maybe they just don't know), and ask or say really dumb things, (again, maybe they just don't know).

The problem is with me. As I said before, I've been really angry. Over nothing. I just got angry one day and continued to be, because I liked it. I liked the way the madness made me feel. I have no idea why. Just that it was a nice companion. Anger was the fuel, and the more fuel I had, the more I felt in control. It only took me 10 years to realize this. (Although some people I know would argue that it may have taken longer. I'm not going to push the issue, only, they could possibly be right).
What I'm trying to say is that I am trying to change. Change is a big thing whether you change an attitude or eating habits or movement patterns. I have been praying lately, that after I have given thanks for my blessings and my children and my dear, wonderful hubby, that I can have more patience and to be able to see each person as my Heavenly Father sees him or her. It's been hard, but even just the very next day, I don't recall having yelled at my children (Maybe four or five times in the last week, whereas it would be per day, normally).
I think music has a big part to do with it. It's been part of teaching my children basic essentials of life, like the ABC's, counting and important things like brushing teeth and cleaning up. I have sung to them about being a child of God and prayer and they have taught me to remember things that are important to us through our faith that they have learned in song.
The song I sing to Bubby when I put him down for a nap and to bed at night (when I get the chance) is called "I Feel my Saviors Love". It teaches some wonderful things that make my heart warm and make me feel the love that I believe all of us should know.

I feel my Savior's Love.
I feel my Savior’s love,
In all the world around me
His Spirit warms my soul
Through everything I see
He knows I will follow Him,
Give all my life to Him
I feel my Savior's love
The love He freely gives me.
I feel my Savior’s love
Its gentleness enfolds me
And when I kneel to pray
My heart is filled with peace
He knows I will follow Him,
Give all my life to Him
I feel my Savior’s love
The love He freely gives me.
I feel my Savior’s love
And know that He will bless me
I offer Him my heart;
My shepherd He will be
He knows I will follow Him,
Give all my life to Him
I feel my Savior’s love,
The love He freely gives me.
I’ll share my Savior’s love
By serving others freely,
In serving I am blessed,
In giving I receive
He knows I will follow Him,
Give all my life to Him
I feel my Savior’s love,
The love He freely gives me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1RCGhXjAtU

Anyway, I am not the best at sharing my feelings and flowing freely is something my words don't do. The point of this is that since I have asked my Heavenly Father to help me love those around me, I have learned that it takes time. Attitude is something that you have to practice, like cello. Or voice. I have excused silly things at the store. I have excused my childrens behavior. I have excused time, which makes me feel like a prisoner to my husbands schooling (which, by the way, is nearly finished). I have begun to learn to love the "normal" things that plague human-kind.
Oh, and God really does answer our prayers.

Projects, Projects, Projects

I like to sew. I think I sew a lot. Truth be told, I really don't. I have this beautiful cabinet in the kitchen corner that my hubby gave me for Christmas to put my sewing things in. It houses (most of) my fabric in some drawers and my crafty things like buttons, notions, scissors and my actual sewing machine in the part with doors. I love it. It's beautiful. It looks like this:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S29876651

Did I mention that I love love love IKEA?

Well, I want to make this: http://wkdesigner.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/the-weekender/

but I last time I put my sewing machine away, I left a project in the needle. Yoga pants. Not like I was nearly finished or anything. I think I just got too tired to finish it. Just like another friend who took a year-and-a-half to finish a hem and zipper on a maxi dress, I will be to small to wear these yoga pants when I finish them. (It's a good think I know how to sew, so I can make the alterations, huh).
Sew, the projects I have to finish are:

• a car seat cover for 86's seat, because it has been through now 4 children and I want a new one. Since it costs less to draw a pattern and make it yourself, than replace a seat that is still perfectly usable. It's in loved condition and is a little dirty around the edges, (and we don't have the money to get a new one anyway), so I got me some really cute boy-ish fabric disassemble the seat to trace the cover, and started to make a new cover. I'll tell you what though. It's a pain in the neck to put those things back together.
  
• yoga pants
• I get to make alterations to some shoulder seams and sleeves on a shirt I bought that is too big, because it's too late to return it. (Not only do I have very little clue as to how to do this, but also, I got much smaller since 86 quit breast-feeding)
• a quilt cover I started in 2007
• 2 dresses that need to be mended for the sisters
• Three dresses that I have to cut out and sew up for the spring/summer for the sisters.
• a plastic grocery sack holder for my sister-in-law.
• seat cover for the computer chair.
• a matching pillowcase and curtains for 86's bedroom.
  

As you can tell, that is well more than 25 hours of sewing. If I didn't have kids and a job that I get paid for, I could do it all in a week. Even the quilt top. If I didn't get board with it.
If you read the supplies list for the weekender bag, you'll be able to tell that it's not going to be cheap. So, since we can't really afford to replace the car seat, you'll see how long it will take me to make this wonderful-looking bag. If'n I get the other projects done too.

Just Updated my Profile.

I like the sounds of my children playing nicely together, and them laughing together, the sound of daddy playing with his little princesses--3 of them, watching them dance and tell each other stories. Now they read to each other and baby brother, whom I will call 86, if for no other reason but because he is so mischievous as agent 86 from Get Smart.
I still work in the grocery store, but my days are numbered, because hubby is interning now. YAY! He's almost done. I am so blessed to have this man in my life. I have learned so many things about myself from him.
I used to be a Marines wife, but that chapter is behind us and those people are dear to me. We all write new chapters all the time. Some more quickly and others, just like JRR Tolkien, play out for ages. I'm one who plays out in ages. Life seems to play in slow motion. I don't know if I do it to punish myself, but I think, maybe, just maybe I should speed things up a little bit.
I live in a cool house, with my wonderful little family. Sometimes, I like to clean. I hate folding laundry and the first time I ever heard THE WHO was when our first baby was born, and she took the breath we were saving for sunrise. I haven't really played my cello in that long either.
Shiny rocks make me happy. Two days ago at work, where I see a lot of fancy jewelry in passing, this random woman had on a beautiful green stone ring. It was about a 10mmx15mm oval, set east to west in a silver-colored metal. That's it. Just plain and simple. I commented to her that I thought it was really pretty, and this is the conversation that followed.
Me: Oh, I like your ring. It's really pretty.
Woman: Thank you. It's called Labradorite.
Me: (almost losing my breath and passing out)...NO! (I felt as though I was sucker-punched in the back and the wind was knocked out of me).
Woman: You know about this stone?
Me: (with eyes of a three year old who just got everything he or she ever wanted for Christmas). Yes I do.
Woman: (Beginning to look excited) Tell me everything you know. I got this on a cruise/trip/vacation. (I can't remember so many details now because I was so excited to see this particular gemstone....OH, the excitement!)
Me: Well, they haven't been able to pinpoint the source. Some say Mexico, China. It's heat treated and comes out of the ground with a gold/yellow-ish color.
W: Heat treated? I thought it was natural,
Me: Yeah, to get it that color, they have to treat it the same way they treat sapphires. Wow! I can't believe I'm seeing this! It's heat treated and to get this green takes quite a bit of time. The red colored ones are really nice too....
I only wish everyone could get as excited about gemstones as I do.
Then, Not even two minutes later, another woman came through my line with a really pretty green stoned ring.
Me: Your ring is pretty. Is that paridot or a green diamond? (You see, I learned that I should just ask what is without making assumptions. One time I said "That's not paridot, is it?" knowing full well that it wasn't, but a green diamond).
W: Oh no. It's a diamond. (Then she explained to me how she used to like emeralds and can't now because of the conflict behind them).
I truly felt like it was Christmas.

I am a book keeper, nurse, personal chef, (my cooking is getting better, even after living with vegetarians. I have even done what I call "vegan cleanse" for 10 days a couple of times), chauffeur, therapist, baker, seamstress, p.r. specialist, teacher of youngins, butler, housekeeper, laundress, house cleaner, curator of small mammals.
I am not a therapist any more because the dad of the house really is. He's interning in it and now we are all knee deep in getting him through this last little bit. It only seems so far away because it's something that we have all worked so hard together for. It doesn't sound like it, but Ireallyamveryproudofhim.
I come from an emotionally paused family (if it's not happy or uplifting, please, don't share) so I have a very difficult time getting around the wait-and-see part, but I really do have a great level of pride for him.
Way to go, Team Captain. I love you.

We've been cleaning house. UGH! Saturday, we cleaned out the play room. Double UGH! It seems that no mater how much that room gets cleaned up, stuff multiplies and replenishes there. Mostly trash and crayon wrappers. Where do they come from? And the toys. I think we are finally getting past having to keep everything. When I say we, I really mean me. I am finally getting past having to keep sentimental things. I think I will take a couple of pictures of them on the noisy stick-horses. and them playing with the magnetic letters. and oh you get the picture. Maybe, I might post one or two.

fully blessed.

I don't know how my friend, Kelly will feel about my blogging about her, but she is probably the most amazing woman I have ever met. And I've met some quite amazing women. (Sheri Dew, for one. You can read about her here: http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/people/sheri_dew.html)
Kelly and her husband, Dennis, moved to our quaint little neighborhood about five months ago from New York, with nothing but the clothes on their backs, their two children and what they could fit into their little car. Acting on nothing but faith in a god they knew little about, they ended up here, joining our congregation and being paragons of faith, at least to me. Today at church, she said "the strength of your faith and the depths of your kindness will never be known to how dear you all are to us"
. I think she has it backwards. The strength of her faith that she has just mastered in such a short time and the depth of her kindness to me in her genuine, loving words has been a huge bolster in my life and in my heart.
She showed up at my house Wednesday afternoon with a loaf of home-baked bread. She made it. It was amazing. Wow! Was it amazing! and I love her for that.

Sometimes, I feel kind of like Lois Wilkerson, (Malcom in the Middle) and Marge Simpson. These two women, albeit fictional, feel like they have to prove everything to everybody, and it is obvious to the viewers that they don't have many friends. Lois is quite the authoritarian and Marge is a naggy, well-meaning-but-I-have-to-please-everybody kind of person. Why can't I just be who my heart tells me to be? Instead of trying to be everybody else? But you know what? Knowing Kelly has made me realize that I am not so much like these women. Oh yes, I know some who are, but not me. I am truly blessed.
I am the most blessed person in the world because I know Kelly. Her spirit has touched me deeply and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for putting her in my life.

Last third of the year

In October, we had a birthday. The first birthday of Baby Brother. It was awesome!


He loves to sweep the kitchen floors. And then play with cake.
We practiced blowing out candles before his birthday, but he just didn't get it when we actually put one on the cake. He really just wanted to play with it.

This is my family with my parents about 5 days before they left for Germany to serve in the Freiberg Temple.

This is the cake I slaved over. It was awesome and soo YUMMY!

Relationship Supervisor

Whatever you want it to be, I got all the crappy parts of it. It could be IT, but then, what does IT mean? Jen doesn't know, and she's the relationship supervisor.

But you have to know British Tele. to know the IT Crowd. funny stuff that IT Crowd is.

On another note, my boy turned one on Saturday.

Just like big sister

My girls do lots of things together. I only say lots because big sister went to first grade this year and left little sisters behind. Middle-most sister isn't really behind though because she is reading along with the best of them. At nearly 5 years old, she reads on a beginning kindergarten level. she smart enough to be in K this year, but we decided that she's not emotionally ready for it. I'm so proud of her that she reads so well already.
Biggest sister got 12/10 on her spelling test last week. Why are first graders given words like "behavior" and "cooperate" anyway? I never learned those even as a bonus, until about the 3rd grade.