Am I Really?

I have a good friend who has disclosed an ongoing battle with depression. I never knew it, because she always seemed to be happy and well-adjusted. I was always cranky and quite negative. She has a new blog about it too. I thin we are more alike than being a cancer makes us out to be.
In the last three or four years, my sister has been saying "what has happened to the fun, happy sister I used to have? I want her back!"
I just now know what I have been suspicious of for years is true, and I haven't been doing anything about it. Music used to be my one outlet for emotion that would never fail me and I could rely on it for anything. I am a classical musician, and I enjoy music of all kinds. It has taken a back seat in my life over the last 4 years. No longer! I make a space for it. My children love to dance and ballet takes a front seat. None of them has formal ballet training, but that makes no difference. Middlemost sister has a natural body for ballet, and we are looking for a dance school for her. It brings a great joy to my face to see my girls dance and have a good time, even if they are bopping to Salt n Peppa.
I have taken up sewing again. My mother taught me to sew on a machine when I was very young. I will probably teach my oldest daughter near her next birthday. (I just need to remember to not lose my temper). I have a giant sense of accomplishment when I finish tiny projects. Just yesterday, I made a childs apron out of a fat quarter and rickrack. I made the general apron shape by cutting half-circles out of the top corners and sewed them on as pockets. The rickrack made its way to the neck strap and the ties. It turned out really cute and only took me 30-45 minutes. But I felt really good. I finished something. Last week it was a car seat canopy for Baby M. The cover broke off, three months ago, so I had to remove it. He's been going uncovered since then. I found some darling oriental-type dragon fabric and made a quite boyish (not babyish) covering for it. I was quite pleased with myself. Last week, I also figured out how to fix the car seat. I found an old drycleaning hanger and took the cardboard tube off. Then I cut it open and taped about 4 inches to the stick part that has the built-in canopy, which was the part that broke. My grandmother would have been so proud. I used it up and wore it out. Now the one I made won't get lost in the baby carrier and smother Baby M.
All I need to do now is drag my cello out and play for a while. I just worry about poking little girls in the eyes with the bow and stabbing little feet with my end pin. Maybe I will write a song for my hubby.
So I have depression. I've said it. It's out. Now to heal.